The picture above is of The Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Focusing to much on my faults

I realized yesterday as I walked through my house that I have been focused on the flaws of my daily life. This has been bringing me down in my heart as far as my abilities as a homemaker.
Yes, managing my home is a daily challenge. I feel at times it is the hardest thing I am currently doing.

I am a visionary and have no problem laying out my ideal plan. The problem lies in actually taking action in my plan. I don't know how to go about solving the problems. I don't know how to take the first step in fulfilling my goals. Yes, I've made lists, schedules, organizing lists, etc.... but I just get so overwhelmed in the thought of "Where do I begin".

I walk throughout my home grumbling about this or that and why this isn't happening or why I can't figure this whole thing out. I then start snapping at the children and blame them for not being obedient or making a mess ALL THE TIME, all day long. I really become an outright "ugly" person.

But thanks be to God, for His love and forgiveness and when I walk in the knowledge of His abundant love for my life I manage to figure some things out through the Holy Spirit. But still....I am not even close to where I want to be.

I then look at the season of life I am in. I have lots of little children running around everywhere and have a baby who is at my every beck and call. Much of my time is spent just maintaining and this is what frustrates me. When I look at the bigger picture (on my good days...LOL) I can honestly say "This is a season. This will soon pass."

I can't beat myself up about having a messy house almost 24 hours a day, dirty clothes which multiplies (I turn around and they're back in the dirty clothes again. How does that happen?), Dirty dishes love hanging out in the sink for some reason, and why are my kids always arguing with each other. It can be so hard to be a mom!

After all my focus on the negatives, the Lord told me to outright stop looking and magnifying the negative and look at the positive of what is going on. I need to not walk in condemnation, but look at everything through the eyes of love, gratitude, grace, and mercy.

So what if my walls have cracks in them or my furniture doesn't match. Thank you Jesus for a home and furniture to sit on! So what if my yard has toys that weren't put away and have been sitting there for weeks now. Thank you Lord for a yard my children can play in! So what if my grout in my shower is growing mold (yeah, yuck). Thank you Lord for a place I can shower!! So what.....but THANK YOU LORD!!

When I say "So What!!", it isn't that I don't care. The Lord said I do love and care for my home but I need to become aware that this is a season in my life and to not beat myself up about my mess ups.

I am thankful that in my ugliness of flesh the Spirit of God within me can bring peace to my heart and tell me that I am truly a Joyful Mother and do have things together (even when I don't see it right away)!


Mrs. Taffy said...

Ahh...thanks for sharing! Yes, this is a season...Lord help us keep things in perspective, Your perspective! Even just tonight we were talking about our "financial" ruin. Yet I can't help but be thankful because my family is united, we are happy together, we are close, it would be worse if we lost our financial standing and the heart's of our children! Perspective. If it makes you feel any better, I have mold growing in the grout in my bathtub!

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Thanks for this. I am in the exact same season. We are maintaining and surviving to a certian degree whether we want to admit it or not. It will pass, but right now we are in the thick of it and it ain't easy. Only God can keep us from despair! We can't see much fruit right now, but we have to keep holding on in hope for the future.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I keep thinking of all the little old ladies who come up to me and tell me that these are the best years of my life. I always try to keep that in the back of my mind when I start feeling frustrated. Sounds like the HS is working in you in a great way.

Amy said...

I am right here with ya! I am constantly tripping over skateboards and shoes, hairbrushes and bows. I can be pretty unfriendly about it too. I am always praying for a better attitude. It hit me the other day in Proverbs it says "Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." 14:4. Where there are no children the house is clean, but much is gained through the strength of your family.

Laura said...

Hi Chris!!

It's so nice to officially meet you! LOL I'm so glad you stopped by. I often read the sweet comments your girls leave on Tirzah's blog. Your daughters are beautiful.

Have a very Merry Christmas!!