Focusing to much on my faults

I realized yesterday as I walked through my house that I have been focused on the flaws of my daily life. This has been bringing me down in my heart as far as my abilities as a homemaker.

Yes, managing my home is a daily challenge. I feel at times it is the hardest thing I am currently doing.

I am a visionary and have no problem laying out my ideal plan. The problem lies in actually taking action in my plan. I don't know how to go about solving the problems. I don't know how to take the first step in fulfilling my goals. Yes, I've made lists, schedules, organizing lists, etc.... but I just get so overwhelmed in the thought of "Where do I begin".

I walk throughout my home grumbling about this or that and why this isn't happening or why I can't figure this whole thing out. I then start snapping at the children and blame them for not being obedient or making a mess ALL THE TIME, all day long. I really become an outright "ugly" person.

But thanks be to God, for His love and forgiveness and when I walk in the knowledge of His abundant love for my life I manage to figure some things out through the Holy Spirit. But still....I am not even close to where I want to be.

I then look at the season of life I am in. I have lots of little children running around everywhere and have a baby who is at my every beck and call. Much of my time is spent just maintaining and this is what frustrates me. When I look at the bigger picture (on my good days...LOL) I can honestly say "This is a season. This will soon pass."

I can't beat myself up about having a messy house almost 24 hours a day, dirty clothes which multiplies (I turn around and they're back in the dirty clothes again. How does that happen?), Dirty dishes love hanging out in the sink for some reason, and why are my kids always arguing with each other. It can be so hard to be a mom!

After all my focus on the negatives, the Lord told me to outright stop looking and magnifying the negative and look at the positive of what is going on. I need to not walk in condemnation, but look at everything through the eyes of love, gratitude, grace, and mercy.

So what if my walls have cracks in them or my furniture doesn't match. Thank you Jesus for a home and furniture to sit on! So what if my yard has toys that weren't put away and have been sitting there for weeks now. Thank you Lord for a yard my children can play in! So what if my grout in my shower is growing mold (yeah, yuck). Thank you Lord for a place I can shower!! So what.....but THANK YOU LORD!!

When I say "So What!!", it isn't that I don't care. The Lord said I do love and care for my home but I need to become aware that this is a season in my life and to not beat myself up about my mess ups.

I am thankful that in my ugliness of flesh the Spirit of God within me can bring peace to my heart and tell me that I am truly a Joyful Mother and do have things together (even when I don't see it right away)!

Grocery Shopping and Meal Prep has become a Joy!!

Do you want to meet a mother of eight children who has no earthly idea how to grocery shop and prep good meals? You have come to the right place. It's me!!! Aren't you glad you came by to visit my home today? Oh, golly geee...I know you are....you can't stop loving me and my flaws.

These flaws are transparent. I am exposing them in hopes of later reading this blog in a few years, or maybe a few months down the road when I have been completely transformed into.....Ta Da....Martha Stewart!!

No.....wait.....hmmmmm.......Better Yet.....Rachel Ray....!!! Yeah, she is way more prettier.

Not that I think Martha is ugly...she looks awesome for a woman her age. I really do like her voice. I sort of want to be soft spoken like her.......ok, why on earth am I day dreaming of becoming like Martha Stewart.....HELLO......SOMEONE JUST SLAP ME WITH A FRYING PAN!!

Take a walk down memory lane with your good friend Chris. I will show you how my grocery shopping days have looked like. Oh no Must I expose this disturbing truth?

OOOOOOkkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyyy.........

Here I am waking up and thinking...."hmmmmm.....we have no food....yep, grocery shopping day is today and I don't have one iota what I am going to make tonight or better yet for the rest of this week. I call my hubby and ask him "Hey babe, what is our grocery budget for the next few weeks" He gives me a total and think "Ok, I think I can work with this"....then praying to God for wisdom.

Now I am off to "plan". I stand in front of my stove, look up at my cookbooks, ponder....should I, shouldn't I, should I ..... use those cookbooks. Nah!! Better idea....the computer has plenty of recipes for me to pull from. I click on my emails read some mail that came in, return some mail, check some blogs......oooops... I'm supposed to be making a menu. Yikes!! I blew it again.... slap, slap, and slap again.

I then go on to one of those recipes sites, like recipezaar. I click on some and surf around for the perfect meals. I really don't want to make tacos and spaghetti again....please no!!! I want to show my family I can COOK! After a couple hours of searching, I am utterly exhausted and my eye balls are absolutely, cherry red from staring at the screen for two hours. I look down at my list of meals and think "Now I have to make the grocery list. Yuck!!" I take 30 minutes to make the list. I know, way to long!!!

Ok, that's done. Oh, wait....I have to save some money, so I pull and clip coupons. By this time, I have spent almost three or so hours just planning for my meals for the next few weeks. I'm sure it will get better, once I get to the store. :)

Off I go....with a few kids in tow. I drive by my regular Grocery store that is 5 minutes from home, but decide to drive 30 minutes to Super Walmart!! Brilliant!! Remember.....I WANT TO SAVE MONEY!!! I arrive at Walmart and start my shopping. Three long hours with two carts later I finally come to check out. I'm worn out, my kids are worn out and now we need something to eat because we are starving. I then spend 15 bucks at Mc Donalds. ha ha ha.....so much for saving money at Walmart.....ha ha ha!!

Once I get home it's time to unload the van...thank God for children who don't mind helping. We get the groceries pulled out of the bags and now I have to figure out where to put them. What a trip!! This is why I loathe grocery shopping. I don't know how to do it.

So to say all this. A few weeks ago, I was not looking forward to my next shopping trip and I decided to join e-mealz.com What do I have to loose!!! For $5 a month I get 7 recipes, and a grocery list to my store that is just 5 minutes down the road. The meals are all planned around the sales the store is having for the week. Yes, I spend a little more than what they say because I have to feed 10 of us. So, I add the extra money......but you know what????? It is so worth it and I am enjoying meal times. And yes, shopping too. Even though this past week, I felt like I spent a bit to much time there. Oh well....I'm learning!!

I feel like I am doing something really good for our family. Meal times are so important to me and I feel like I was failing miserably in this area. Even though I'm not using my creative juices to "invent" meals or what have you, but at least I'm happy, and in turn makes everyone else happy. Plus, they look forward to sitting down and eating. I even ask the kids to pick a meal from the menu as to what they want to eat that night. Thus far.....100% of the meals have been so yummy!!

And best of all.....I am learning how to cook. Yay!!! I was telling my husband that this is like discipleship in cooking. I have something to bounce from. I am learning and we are all happy.

Soooooo.....If you sometimes struggle with meal time....I Highly recommend....e-mealz!!

Taking Time to Sit at His Feet

Believe me...I am getting better.

You might ask....what are you talking about?

I am talking about my diligence in managing this large family of mine. Boy, it can be hard work. I tend to sometimes shut in and try to DO IT ALL myself. I then walk around grumpy because NO ONE IS HELPING. Hello? Of course no one is helping because I haven't asked.

WHY DO I HAVE TO ASK? DON'T THEY SEE HOW HARD I'M WORKING!! THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER?

These are my daily mind struggles. I know for some of you this might be so easy to handle. Truly.... I can now relate..... just a bit to how my mother might have felt. She rarely asked us to help and then she would walk around grumpy and YELLING at us for not helping. You know what? I tend to do the same. I remember refusing to be like my "mother". I REFUSED to manage the home like her. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom :) She just didn't know how to teach us to do basic housekeeping.

I find myself doing the same thing. Yes, I have dusted my CHORE PACKS off for the millionth time! Yes, I have the kids help!! But I tend to not be consistent. I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! CONSISTENCY is a MUST. But why do I keep stumbling. LORD HELP!!

Guys, I hate to be so negative but I am just sharing my struggles as a mom. I have read the books, I have done the chore charts, I have read almost everything that is out there.!! I think I have some deeper issues to deal with. :( Oh, boy....now I have to do some deep soul searching LOL!

I know the Lord in His great mercy is sitting on my couch just watching me walking around unorganized and not knowing where to begin. He probably has a smile on His face and just waiting for me to come to Him and let Him give me the answers I've been searching for.

"Lord, I've been to you so many times. Why can't I get it!! What is the deal with me! I need to obey, I know!!"

I haven't allowed the Lord to really minister to me in this area. It's like you have a child that you obviously know needs to be taught in say cooking, and when you instruct him or her, they are not really receiving all your instructions. They are so quick to get up and go. Well.....this is me!! Yep, I will sit at His feet about this issue for so long (a few minutes) and not allow Him to minister to me completely. I get up and go before He is finished instructing me. Do you see the picture I am trying to paint? So when this "child" tries to make the meal, they mess up the recipe and then comes crying because they "messed it all up". Reality is that they didn't mess it ALL UP, they just added that extra cup of sugar or forgot to put in the egg.

I need to take the time to sit at His feet and have Him minister to me. As I am typing this, I'm thinking "When am I going to have the time to do this." Ooops!! Instead of typing on this blog, I guess I should have been with the Lord. Actually, typing this out has helped me see my problem. :)

Thanks for hanging in with me and following my life :)

Love Ya,

Chris

Feeling a bit better

Ok, so this past week was literally a week from..........  I don't know what came over me.  I really do think it was PMS.  I felt so overwhelmed about every thing.  I did have a few decent days.  I only check my email once and I didn't even go on Facebook or other's blogs.  I had to force myself to stay focused.

This past Friday, I was again, a blubbery mess.  Ahhhhhhh......Lord I need your help!!  I didn't do much but fold laundry.  No I wasn't on the computer at all.  I just didn't have much joy.  I had to be in the Lord's presence all day to not feel like I was going to bite someone's head off.  I was a very ugly person Friday.  I didn't know what I was going to make for dinner.  We usually eat pizza on Fridays but I didn't even want to think of making it.  Actually my daughter makes it, but still......Just the thought of her doing it was overwhelming.

Donnie's mom and Grandma calls in the afternoon and want to take us out to dinner.  Guess where?  The local pizza place.  Yay!!  God is so faithful and knows just when I need Him to show up.  Thank you Lord.

Oh and I do have another praise report.  This week as I was feeling very overwhelmed.  A friend of mine calls up and says she wants to commit herself to helping me on my cleaning day and help me clean and organize for a couple hours.  This means every week she will come and help!!  Wow......truly, God's love and showing He cares for me.  I am in awe of how awesome He is and how He comes through.

I am determined this week will be a blessed week.  I think my friend and I are going to tackle the kitchen cabinets and get those organized and cleaned.  I'll have to snap some before and after pics so you can see the difference.

Blessings