Manic Mondays are soon to become Marvelous Mondays

I did not realize how long it's been since I've written in this blog. Wow!! Life has been busy over here. I started schooling and my days are filled from about 9:30 am till about 4:00 pm. Non stop schooling. Actually we do take about an hour lunch break...a much needed break.

Monday's have officially become my "work day". On Mondays the kids and I are "suppose" to do some deep cleaning. I put this word in quotes because it has been such a battle the past few weeks trying to get my "agenda" accomplished. Mondays have been a bit unproductive. The kids are doing their extra weekly chores but I hardly touch mine. What must be the problem?

Last Monday was plain awful. I don't know what was going on with me. I think it was hormones or something. I felt so moody. Nothing was pleasing me.....nothing at all. I called my husband in tears and he sweetly suggested...."Drop your plans, it's a beautiful day today and take the kids to the park." And I did just that. We went to our local park and had the kids run, and run, and run, and run, and run, and run, and run some more. We came home and everyone was tired and not ready to finish all those chores I had planned. Oh well.

That evening I was still in a funk. My hubby came home from work and suggest again...."You need to go out and take a drive" I did just that. You know what I did? I drove, and drove, and drove some more. I then parked at a nearby soccer park and just prayed and read my bible. I wanted so badly for this feeling to pass. I felt so frustrated and I couldn't stand it. After sitting there for about an hour, I started up the van and drove some more. Here is my conversation I had with the Lord....

Me: I don't know what to do Lord. I have so many ideas, so many agendas, and I really don't like being momzilla. I am sorry Father, there is no excuse for me to act and behave this way. Lord I just don't know how to stop this......(then I heard silence and then I heard the Lord)

Lord: Oh No Chris....don't you go there.... you know exactly what to do. Don't tell yourself you don't know. You do know. What would you tell a mom in a similar situation.

Me: (I didn't say anything...just thoughts crossed my mind and then I responded) You mean I need to tell you what I would tell another mom? Ok, I can do that. I think.

I put myself in the place of ministry at that moment---I was talking to myself!! LOL I know that sounds sort of crazy but I had to "preach" to myself. And you know what? I was so pumped and saw everything so clearly. You want to know what I told myself?

Me talking to Me: Love comes before your agenda. There are going to be distractions. There are going to be things that interrupt all the plans you might have laid out for the day. But what's most important is that you are ministering to those children in your home. It is a ministry unto their spirit. Nothing else is more important than ministering to your children in a loving way. So what if you only get one job on the list done. Again loving them comes before your agenda.

Also you need to be led by the Spirit of the Lord....don't be distracted by computer time (ouch) phone calls from friends (ouch and ouch), or whatever it is that pulls you from doing what God has called you to do. You have a calling and it is to train up your children as unto the Lord. You will rise early and every step shall be ordered of the Lord. So when you feel like "checking your emails"....don't go near that computer until you feel the Lord is releasing you to do that. You will find your fulfillment will come from keeping the agenda the Lord has given you.

Wow....I felt so much better telling myself this. All the weight I was carrying was off my shoulders. Thank you Jesus for your loving kindness and tender mercies.

So....if you happen to have "one of those days", don't fret just "preach" to yourself. What would you tell a mom or wife facing the same situation as you are at that moment? You will be amazed by what comes out of your mouth. What is coming out is the Words of the Lord to you and your situation.

Blessings,

Chris

Do you Micromanage your kids? I think I do!

I decided to do a little research on Management :O -- The ins and outs on managing a large group of people with different personalities. Who better than a large family like my own. --

I found this interesting article on the Dangers of Micromanaging...oooo...ouch!!!. I tend to do this alot!

I will highlight some of the interesting points I found and relate it to my home life. FUN!!

The Dangers of Being a Micromanager

You may wonder exactly why being a micromanager is bad for your business (Oh no!!!). On the surface, it seems wise (it sure does) to make sure that your staff is doing a good job, to pitch in and help with a project now and then. It seems to demonstrate a solid work ethic and set a good example for the team. What could bewrong with that? (Yeah, what could be wrong with that?)

Well, if you’re a manager, there’s a lot wrong with that.

Basically, micromanaging is involving yourself too directly (yep I do this way to much) in what your staff should be doing instead. By definition, a manager is tasked with — yes, you guessed it —managing. That involves coordinating projects, solving problems, dealing with other managers, and developing relationships with clients. (homeschool planning and teaching; disciplining the little boogers; loving on my hubby and ironing his work clothes; loving and building good relationships with my kids)The manager has to ensure that a certain quantity of work gets done, and normally that work is much more than one person could ever do alone ( you better believe it with a large family I can't do it alone....I tell this to my kids lots). Therefore, the manager supervises a team of people to help them carry out that work.

However, if a manager’s time is consumed with micromanaging, there's no time for all the other managerial tasks on his or her plate (maybe this is why I feel behind many times over). Quite simply, it is damaging to your business to micromanage. (OUCH!!! and double OUCH!!!)Here are some tips to keep in mind when tempted to manage to the nth degree:

• There’s more than one right way. As a supervisor (mom) you need to prepare your employees (you mean children ;) to complete projects successfully, and to be clear from the beginning about the results you expect from them. Then you should stand back (WHAT??? Stand back....could this actually happen!!) and let them carry out their designated tasks in the way they see fit, (I can see the dust bunny sitting on the couch and jumping for joy) coming up with their own solutions. Remember that employees (my kids) need to do things in a positive way, but not necessarily in the same way you would do them (Yeah, you're right about this). This does not mean that communication is closed down — you still need to touch base from time to time, to see how projects are progressing (Ok, I can see them hardly doing anything but playing around--could they actually progress in a timely fashion without me hovering over them), and to check if the person has any questions. But he or she needs freedom to work within an open framework, to learn and grow (yep, yep, and yep). The end result is a strengthening of your firm. There’s no way your staff can develop and the firm can flourish if you are always there to meddle in the project and demonstrate the “correct” way to accomplish a task ( I do exactly this with my 15 yr old--the meddling mom!!)
• It’s about trust. Your employees have to believe that you trust them to do a good job (I don't think I do trust them to do a good job...I guess this is bad :o ). But how can they do that if you’re always hovering over their shoulders, diving in to rescue them from themselves? If it’s inevitable that your staff’s decisions will be second-guessed, they will begin to feel frustrated and powerless (picture of my son when I come in to meddle). In addition, your employees (children)will learn that they will not be held accountable, and will soon stop trying to make any decisions at all.
• If something’s wrong, fix it. If you have an employee who is indeed constantly doing things incorrectly, it may be time to clean house (Ok....now this is my goal....HELLO) and hire someone who can do the job properly (That would be nice!! Hey honey, I need a maid, babe!! This article said I need to hire someone). But first, see to it that your employees are fully trained and know everything they need to know to do their jobs well. Be certain you're communicating the duties of the job clearly (I confess sometimes I am hasty with my commands....my bad). Finally, keep in mind that some employees want to be micromanaged (I have a few children like this....hmmmm.....interesting). Just as you need to stay out of their way, your staff needs to remember the importance of making decisions on their own. (we have to work on this deal)
• Beware of burnout. If you insist on meddling in a project, creating frustration and lack of accountability in your employees,(creating frustration in ALL OF US) and still attempt to shoulder all your other managerial responsibilities, you’re going to get tired. Really tired. (This is me on a daily basis....frustrated and fed up) And eventually, tiredness will progress to exhaustion and complete burnout (That's it!!! I quit or their fired!!!). At which point, you won’t care about micromanaging anymore. But at that point, of course, it will be too late (Not with Christ...there is always Redemption!!! This I do know. :D ) Don’t let events progress to that point.

The bottom line: a good manager is one who prepares, and then trusts employees, remembers that he or she is part of a team, (mi familia) and leads by example, not by doing everyone else’s work. Your staff will appreciate your efforts, and will feel a greater sense of personal accomplishment. And in the end, your business (my HOME) will thrive (Yes!!! \0/ I want this).

It was so much fun dissecting this article and relating it to my home managing skills. I learned about what not to do. It is going to take LOOOOTTTTSSSS of practice to not get FRUSTRATED with the little details they didn't take care of. Oh....LORD have Mercy!!!

Getting on A Routine

For this week's post I am going to discuss getting on a routine. This is very important for the entire family. I am preaching to myself here. Children as we all know, thrive on routines. For some reasons though, my children don't understand the importance of this. I daily tell them "Ok, get started with your chores." or "Come on, don't wait for mommy to tell you" or "How come you are sitting on this couch and 30 minutes have passed and you are still haven't even started?!" By this time, I am a bit flustered with them.

Let me fill you in on a little secret...shhhh....i do the same. Yes, I confess, I am not the greatest schedule or routine keeper. I don't blame my children when they basically are following after mommy. "I Know God, you told me to get up at 5 am this morning." God, speaks to me like this. He is my coach and I love Him for this. He tells me to get my butt up from bed and hang out with Him in the mornings. But when I disobey, boy oh boy, do I feel it later. Not that the Lord is correcting me...or maybe he is. He is just making me walk out the consequences of what happens when I am not sensitive to hear Him and obey him in this area of my life. Basically what happens is things around hear get a little bit ....just a tiny bit....teeny wheeny bit....Can you read this small writing...Chaotic!!! Ok well maybe I am exaggerating just a bit.

I guess in my eyes, I see these giant mountains of messes. I see the tiniest specks on the walls. I see my children acting like a bunch of jungle animals swinging on trees....well, actually they do this sometimes....you get my picture. Now what was I discussing? Ahhhh, yessssss, Routines. So very important to wake up when the Lord says or else you will have children who swing on trees. Seriously though, to survive living in a large family or really any family, we need to not take staying home for granted. God has given us this opportunity to train up our soldiers for battle. To train them to be the best that they can be. You are training them to join the Army, or is it the Marines. LOL....actually my oldest son does want to become a marine.

Running a home is not a thing you do flippantly. It takes much prayer and guidance as to what to do each and every day...each and every minute. With the more children being added in the home. The home becomes sort of like a 24 hour school. Sometimes I feel like I have a 24 hour daycare or I am a sergeant at boot camp...."Alright....MOVE IT, MOVE IT....GET DOWN AND GIVE ME 20!! You might laugh, but I have done this with my teenager. There are times where he needs to exert energy so I tell him to run a block or two and sometimes do push ups. Does he listen....no, not always. I guess because most of the time I am joking.

Back to running the home....... Routines are a must! Break them up into blocks. For example: morning routine, after breakfast, afternoon routine, dinner routine, bedtime routine....etc.. you get your routines down, then you time them to see how long it takes to: Get up, make coffee, do a bible study, computer time (which I have limited myself to 30 mins which is not enough time..working on this though) or what ever you have planned into your routine.

I actually have taken my daily routine and put times next to them. For example....

5:15 Got up

5:28 Made coffee and breakfast (mine--children are not up this early)

5:30 ate breakfast and listened to my favorite preacher

6:15 Prayed

6:30 Computer time.

This helps me to see how long a task does take and to help me manage my time.

Speaking of time....yikes...I should be making kids breakfast right now but I am posting this.

Alright gotta run.....until then

Chris, who will be joining my kids in the trees......

Dustin off my Chore Packs

First things first....getting the children back on board with their chores. Yep, with school being done, long summer days, and feeling like we're still on vacation, we as a family can fall into "lazy mode". Who wants to do anything when friends are ringing doorbells at 9 AM. Yeah, they come earlier everyday....geeze, don't their parents give them chores....LOL. My kids feel like they need to be out the door as soon as their buddies come knockin'. They do try to sneak out without me noticing....nope doesn't work. "Did you do your chores!!?" I ask with a frustrated voice. Of course they didn't. Mooooom has not been putting those nifty Chore Packs up, so why do they have to do chores.

There you have it....true confessions of the frazzled homemaker!! No wonder I've been feeling overwhelmed. I've been doing it all myself and the kids walk around and make messes. "Help me Lord"....Aha!!!.....the Chore Packs!!! YES!! They are sitting in my junk box collecting dust. I need to pull those out.

So yesterday, I went on the Managers of Their Home Chore Ware site and made up new Chore Packs for the children. Today we were back on track. I have to admit, Chore Packs have been the best investment I've made yet. They are so easy to use and really do work. The key is to be consistent.....Making sure the kids are doing them daily and mom doing inspections. Easy as that!!! Riiiiight!! I guess it is easier said than done. I am still working with being consistent. LOL

Today was a productive day. The children were excited about starting their chores again and Mom has realized....."I can do this after all". I can manage my home and my children. Yay!!! (can you tell I had a good day...he he he he)

Chris